didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
