So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
