If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
