By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
