I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
