ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
