bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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