cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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