Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
