Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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