Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
