Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
