At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
