Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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