i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
