He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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