shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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