Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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