one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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