left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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