I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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