She is in my trunk
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
