i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
