Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
