I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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