Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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