I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
