You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
