Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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