i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
