White coat. Heels.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
