Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
