Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
