i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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