Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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