Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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