That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
