4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
