party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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