I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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