you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
