sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
