And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
