Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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