Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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