im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
