My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
