I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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