Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
