PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
