you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
