I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
