so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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