I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
